HI! I'M TABITHA
In 2011 I graduated from PNCA with my BFA. My first online portfolio/ shop was a Myspace page under the name "Out of Order Art." That name originated in high school with my best friend and I's dream band called: "Out of Order." It was Pop-Punk of course, as was the style at the time. We used to draw a cute green alien with three eyes and signaling antenni (before Wifi, but looked the same). I was going to be the drummer, because her cousin was going to play bass. Obvi.
When I lost her to suicide in 2006, my entire world collapsed. I was so devastated and alone, that every time I laughed I felt a tug at my heart. The tug would say "how can you laugh when she's not here laughing with you? How can you ever love again?" -and I would stop laughing. I saw the pain from everyone that loved her, and I knew that despite my major depression and developing disorders, I could never do that to the people I loved. So... I had to stick around I guess, and I decided I was going to live for both of us.
Since Then,
I've tried my best to follow every dream the two of us talked about, and more. My senior thesis project was a performance art show where I sang songs I'd written with my college bandmate. I designed costumes, made music videos, and put on a handful of decent performances, before hanging up my microphone in 2018. I acted in indie movies, & shorts and even had a job as what we could consider an "influencer," today. I was making 5 Youtube videos a week at $25 a pop' about celebrity gossip for a company that, looking back, was ahead of its time.
Today, sadly, I am not a billionaire, or even a thousandaire like some of the original influencers. And my videos are (thankfully) no longer available on the internet. However, I am still a content creator. Which feels like a cringey way to say I'm an artist. I believe in self care and therapy. I think mental health resources should be available everywhere for everyone. I firmly believe that if I had a billion dollars I wouldn't fly a dick-rocket into space. Instead I would help as many people as I could, because I know how it feels to be alone, and stuck in a place that sucks sometimes. So, I make art, and jokes, and silly videos to make you laugh, or ugly cry, until we all spin into oblivion together.